Discover how Transactional Analysis shows us that empathy, far from being a weakness, forms the bedrock of a thriving civilization. Learn to identify and transform your “internal Parent” to develop a healthier relationship with yourself, others and your environment.

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A report from the Transactional Analysis Festival in Rome, May 9-10, 2025

My mind is still buzzing with ideas and my heart full of emotions after participating in the 5th edition of the TAF (Transactional Analysis Festival) held in Rome on May 9-10, 2025, entitled “The Parent in the Mind“. This event, created by Matteo Nirone, on the above picture, brought together professionals and enthusiasts from all over Italy. Among the many stimulating presentations, the one by psychotherapist Letizia Vibi left a strong imprint on my professional reflection as a counselor.

Civilization begins with a healed femur

Vibi opened her talk with a powerful anecdote: when Margaret Mead was asked what the first sign of civilization in a culture was, the anthropologist replied, “a healed broken femur.”

Why? Because it means someone stopped to help, nourished and protected the injured person until healing. Civilization is born from mutual care.

In an era where figures like Elon Musk speak of “toxic empathy” considering it a weakness of Western society, Transactional Analysis reminds us that, on the contrary, there is no civilization without cooperation, nor cooperation without empathy.

The Internal Parent: normative or affective?

The Parent (with a capital P, as theorized by Eric Berne) represents that part of us that has internalized messages, values and behaviors from parental figures. It can manifest as a normative Parent who judges and condemns or as an affective Parent who welcomes and supports.

As a counselor, I help people explore their internal Parent: What messages do they repeat?

• Do they allow us to be empathetic toward ourselves and others?
• Or do they push us toward self-criticism and isolation?

Transforming the Parent in your mind

The good news that emerged from the festival is that we can transform our internal Parent.

In Transactional Analysis counseling, I accompany people to:

• Recognize the limiting messages of their normative Parent

• Develop awareness of their inner resources

• Nurture a more compassionate internal Parent

• Build new permissions to exist, feel, and express

• Cultivate empathic abilities toward themselves and others

An Invitation to Reflect

And you, what kind of Parent do you carry in your mind? Is it an ally that supports you in difficult moments or a critical voice that holds you back?

Empathy is not a toxin that weakens us, but an essential vitamin for growing together.

Perhaps true strength lies in having the courage to stop for a broken femur, our own or someone else’s. Because, as Transactional Analysis teaches us, the path to a healthier society passes through the ability to be present: for ourselves, for others and the environment, with awareness and compassion.