Through my own journey as a caregiver and my professional support, I reveal how transactional analysis illuminates the path of 11 million French caregivers.
Discover the “Triangle of Balance” that harmonizes your nurturing Parent, your organizing Adult, and your inner Child to transform daily juggling into a conscious dance where taking care of yourself becomes as important as taking care of others.
Reading time: 5 minutes

“Who takes care of those who take care?”
This question resonates at the heart of our society where 11 million French people are family caregivers. “Mom, did you take your medication today?” This simple question, asked on an autumn evening to my mother whose autonomy was gradually diminishing, made me realize that I was entering a new dimension of my life. I was joining the ranks of millions of family caregivers in France. Today, as a practitioner in transactional analysis and certified counselor, I share with you this dual journey, personal and professional, in the universe of caregiving.
The daily dance of the caregiver
Anna, one of my clients, once told me with a sad smile: “I juggle between my work, my children and caring for my father like a mad conductor.” This image resonates with the reality of many caregivers. French statistics confirm it: 58% of caregivers are women, mainly between 45 and 64 years old, navigating between professional and family responsibilities. I remember my first days as a caregiver. I observed how my Parent ego state tried to maintain balance while my inner Child oscillated between guilt and need for respite.
The art of listening to your needs
“I don’t have the right to complain,” Marc, who takes care of his sick wife, often confides to me. “Others have much more difficult situations.” This phrase, I have heard and thought so many times. But as I tell my clients: “Imagine a garden. If we never water it, how can it continue to bloom?“
The triangle of balance, a daily compass
I like to use the image of a three-way compass to illustrate the “Caregiver’s Triangle of Balance”:
- Self-kindness (nurturing Parent): putting on your oxygen mask before helping others
- Practical organization (Adult): harmonizing the different aspects of our life
- Recognition of our needs (Child): like a garden that needs water to flourish
This triangle adapts according to the days and challenges. Perfect balance doesn’t exist, but awareness of these dimensions guides us.
Concrete tools
Sophie, a caregiver I support, created her “survival kit”:
- A list of resource people to call in case of emergency or for respite
- Privileged moments for herself, even brief ones
- A notebook to write down her small daily victories
I encourage my clients to see these practices as recognition of their essential role. Being a caregiver also means learning to receive. If you recognize yourself in these lines, don’t hesitate to contact me to explore together your own triangle of balance.
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